Question & Answer
Fr. Bernard Nguyễn Trọng thưởng, CMC Phụ Trách

9. Why do white kids have to leave Asian kids out?

Dear Fr. Bernard,

Why do white kids have to leave Asian kids out? Father, I go to a Catholic school. My friends give me a feeling that they are my friends, but they pay no attention to me. Even at lunch, I give them a suggestion for something but they don't listen. When I give them suggestion, why don't they listen? We just end up getting into trouble. I don't like being left out. Some of the boys are really nice to me but some aren't. They call me names and say bad things about it. Please help me, I am really confused. Thanks for spending time with me. (Danthy)

Dear Danthy,
Racists are narrow-minded people. They are insecured and have low self-esteem. They have to put down people of other races in order to feel good about themselves. It is unfortunately that there are many of them in your school which is Catholic, but it doesn't mean that all white kids leave Asian kids out. They are free to leave others out but they also choose to choke up their ability to love. This often develops into hatred for people of other races. Hatred does not bring happiness it burns up and destroys those who harbor it.  So racists are not happy. You don't want to hang around with unhappy people. So if they leave you out, then leave them and look for those who accept you for who you are. If you want people to listen to your suggestion, think about your suggestion before you say it and try to explain why your suggestion is reasonable.

No one likes to be left out. You don't, I don't either. However, there are groups of people you don't want to associate with. If they ignore you for no reason, if they call you names for no reason, if they say bad things about you for no reason, then stay away from them. They are just a bunch of miserable people who are full of hatred. Make friends with those who know how to love, who is truly Catholic in the way they live. Good friends are hard to find, but don't give up. Jesus is the best friend you must have in your life. He never ignores you. He never puts you down. He always accepts you for who you are. He is always there for you no matter what. Talk to Jesus and get to know him and your life will be happier. God bless.

10. Is it odd and bad that I really love
my dad more than my mom?

Dear Fr. Bernard,

My name is Sylvia Ngo and I have read your advice numerous times on TTDM. Well, my parents are divorced and they are two very different people. My dad's side of the family is different and horrible; by that, I mean like stealing, fraud, and has a scary reputation around our church. On the other hand, my mom's side of the family is smart, nice and definitely not like my dad's family. Anyway my question is: do you think it's odd that I really love my dad more than my mom. Is that bad? Am I allowed to think like that? Another thing, my dad went to Vietnam and got a fiance. She is really nice, but I heard that it is sinful for my dad to do that. Is that true? Well anyway, please give me an answer so that I can understand. God bless you! With lots of love, (Sylvia Ngo)

Dear Sylvia,
I don't think it's odd for you to love your dad more than your mom. I suspect that when you were young your dad gave you whatever you wanted or asked for. Perhaps because of that you think your dad loves you more. On the other hand your mom might not always give you what you want for your own good. When you were young your feeling depended a lot on what you can see. You did not know that both of your parents love you but they treat you differently because their understandings of goodness are different. If you love your dad more just because you simply feel that way then there is nothing bad about it. However if you love your dad more because you think your mom love you less than your dad then it is bad. Anyway, you love your mom more or your dad more is completely up to you, but you should think about the reason why. That reason might not be good.

You wrote: your parents are divorced. My question is: did the Church annul their marriage? If the Church did, then your dad is free to get married. There must be a marriage in the Church. Your dad cannot simply move in with his fiance. This is sinful. If the Church did not annul your parents' marriage, then your dad cannot get married. It is sinful if he get married anyway. You are living in world full of bad examples, I hope you learn the lesson and do not repeat the same mistake as your parents did. Don't forget to pray and God bless. Love.

11. Can TV host speak to the dead?
Is it really Satan who is talking to the host
to convince us that there is no God?

Dear Fr. Bernard,

I've been reading Teens Puzzled for a long time now. I like how you answer other questions very well. I've been watching TV shows like "Crossing Over and Beyond". In a show, the host spoke to the audiences' dead relatives and friends. Do you think that they can actually speak to the dead? Does God let them do that? Or is it really Satan who is talking to the host to convince us that there is no God? Thank you very much for answering. God bless you. Sincerely, ( Anthony Vu)

Dear Anthony,
God may allow dead persons to appear to relatives and friends for some specific purpose like taking care of unfinished important business, paying debt... However what was shown on TV only served people's curiosity more than anything else. The media often creates hoax and exaggeration for sentimentalism. I don't think you'd have any benefit from watching such a show. It is possible that Satan is using those people to undermine people's faith. God bless.


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