Marian teens 6-2008

Marian teens - Teens Puzzled
fatherbernard@yahoo.com

1. My parents is so strict. I can’t even go out with my friends and have some fun!
I need help! Help me!... Ahhh!!! My parents is so strict. I can’t even go out with my friends and have some fun. Today I went out to chill with my friends, and I got home around 8 o’clock. But my dad picked me up from my friend’s house. My dad called me 2 times but I missed it. So he got mad. When we were in the car he said, "from now on you would be better not ask to go chill with your friends anymore, because I know you’ll lie to me. Don’t even think about it." I got mad because there's this guy who likes me. And I like him too. We gotta go out and chill more. But now my dad is so strict. I don’t even know what to do. Please help me. Give me some advice. Thanks.
C

Hi C,
The person who really need to chill is you. What you need is not to chill out but to chill in. Your dad gave you a chance and you blew it. Being with boy whom your parents don't know is not a good idea. So just forget about the boy and try to regain the trust from your dad. Don't be so interested in boys because they will get you into trouble.

2. Do homosexual persons go to hell just for being gay?
Hello Father!
I've been reading your Marian Teens section of TTDM for a while now, and I have always had a question in mind. Recently I've made a new friend. He is Baptist and very religious in many ways. He never swears, goes to church three times a week, and always speaks about God to his peers. I spoke to him one day about how he felt about gays. He said that he read a section in the bible saying that gays are an abomination. He also shuns gays and believes that they all go to hell when they die. I told him that I believed that gays don't have a choice of their sexuality, and it is in their genes. He kept arguing that God does not like gays.
I reflected on his thoughts for a while but I could not accept that all gays go to hell. I also read that studies showed that 100% of homosexuals have a part in their brain that is smaller than average. So my question is, do homosexual persons go to hell just for being gay? Thanks for reading my e-mail, God bless!
A

Hello A,
It is not for us to say who go to hell. Even Jesus did not condemn anyone to hell except Judas. One goes to hell because one chooses to go there.
However, it is difficult to say that all homosexual persons were born that way and didn't have a choice. It is safe to say that some homosexual persons were born that way and they did not have a choice.
One does not goes to hell for something that he or she does not have a choice. If they truly do not have a choice being gay or not, then they will not go to hell for being homosexual. Some homosexual persons were conditioned or chose to be that way. That was why some homosexual persons could be cured. They were happy for that.
There is a big difference between being homosexual and acting out homosexually. A homosexual person may feel being attracted to another of the same sex, but he or she always has a choice of not acting it out sexually. It is the same with heterosexual people. We feel attracted to the opposite sex, but we always have a choice of not acting it out improperly because we respect the person we love. Homosexual persons, who are sexually active, make their choice to do what is sinful. They will be responsible to God for that. We are not in the position to condemn them. However we do condemn the sinful acts.
In summary, homosexual persons do not go to hell for just being homo, but they may because of the choice they make. God bless.

3. Is it a sin to be perverted, or to be a fan of reading gay books, or to believe that God works with Satan to test our faith?
Hi Father,
I have three questions I am very concerned with, these questions all concern SIN. The first, is it a sin to be perverted? In my opinion pervertedness is in everyone’s blood. Everyone has this fallen personality. As we grow, it may become stronger, so is it a sin.
The second, is it a sin to be a fan of reading gay books and gay stories? This one bothers me. I’m a fan of reading gay books and gay stories, but I don’t believe in gay marriage. It’s a bit disgusting. So I want to know because our religion does not allow gay marriage. I am actually starting to be disgusted by being a fan of this kind of literature or should I say writings.
My third and last question for now, is it a sin to believe that God works with Satan to test our faith? This is my belief and as far as I remember my dad, a very religious person has also got me into this thought. Thank you for reading this.
H

Hello H,

1/ Sin can be in thoughts, words, deeds. To be a sin it has to be (a) a violation of the laws of God or of the Church, (b) with a clear knowledge of violating the law, (c) with free intention of the thought or the word or the act. Perversion as a feeling that comes naturally is not a sin, but the perverted idea that is held on to, or speak out, or carried out has all three elements of a sin.

2/ Gay books and gay stories that contain sexually explicit description aim at enjoying sex in an illicit way. They do not respect sexuality as a sacred gift from God. If that is the kind of stories you are talking about, then it is sinful to read them. You should find them disgusting.

3/ Your question reminds me of the book of Job in the Bible. It was a fiction that tried to address the problem of suffering and evil. The book begins with the meeting between God and Satan. God asked Satan if he has seen Job, his righteous servant. Satan said that Job was righteous because God has given him all the good things in life; if God took all that away, Job would surely turn against him. God gave Satan the power to take away all that Job had, and even inflicted on him a terrible disease. You might want to read the rest of the story.

The book of Job suggests that God can use Satan to test us. However, saying that "God works with Satan to test us" is not a good way to describe the reality. God bless and don't forget to pray.

4. Is it okayed if I want both to become Catholic priest and to get married?

Dear Fr. Bernard,

I hope you can help me with my problem. I'm now 20 years old. Deep in my heart, I'd like to become a Catholic priest but I also want to get married. Is it OK if I achieve the two goals? I'm really confused. I don't know how to decide.

L

Dear L,

You might want to ask yourself why do you want to be a priest? Is it because of the respect you would get from people or some other external motives? If this is the only reason then you are not called to priesthood. If you want to be a priest because you want to be like Jesus, to sacrifice your life in the service of God and others, then you should be able to sacrifice the joys of marriage in exchange for the spiritual joys of priesthood. It is not OK to fulfilled both priesthood and marriage. If you choose one you have to give up the other. May God give you guidance. God bless.

5. I don't really understand what Jesus is trying to say in Lk 12:49-53.

Dear Fr. Bernard,

How have you been? Good, I hope. Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me to answer my question.

In my family, we always read the Bible at home every time we pray together. I like to listen to the stories in the New Testament. Well, one time I read Lk 12:49-53. Jesus said something like He didn't come to bring peace, but to "cast fire upon the earth," and "Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." I don't really understand what he's trying to say. It got me confused so decided to ask you about it. Can you help me? Thank you and God bless.
Curious

Dear Curious,

Your quote from the gospel of Luke is a difficult passage to understand. This gospel was written around 70-80 A.D. for a non-Jew Christian community. Most Christians in the community were converts who lived in families that have non-believers. There were division among families because of the Christian faith. The gospel writer chose to recall Jesus' words that were relevant to the life situation of his readers. He wanted them to endure and even suffer the division among family and friends because of their faith in Christ. Christ's words gave them courage and strengthen their faith. What Jesus meant was that: believing in Jesus implies possible division among family and persecution from one's own friends and relatives. One must be ready to brave that difficulty to follow Jesus. I hope this answers your question. God bless.